5 Things.

It's been one of those days. I've been all over the place.

My apologies for the randomness that follows. I can't help it.


1. It felt like -40 today - and I survived. Not only did I survive it, I shopped in it. It wasn't too bad once I had on wool socks, Uggs, jeans, cotton shirt, wool sweater, parka, hat, hood, and mitts. You'll notice I didn't mention whether that -40 degrees was in Celsius or Fahrenheit. That's because the two are equal. --40 is -40 no matter what country you live in, no matter what language you speak, no matter what units you use. The basic equation is Cold = Cold.

2. Please, Dear God, look at this face. This is Edna. I met her this weekend. She's 7 years old. She's not very lady-like, if you know what I mean (hump, hump). She is the most ridiculous dog I have ever encountered.

3. I spent my afternoon painting our bedroom in preparation for our new bedroom suite. Note to self: Wash the paint off of your legs before going to the gym. Otherwise people look at you funny and paint gets all over the equipment.

4. The starch manufacturers are in cahoots with the chapstick companies. You know the chapstick conspiracy; the only way they stay in business is by counting on the customers to loose their chapstick long before it would run out. That way you buy another one and the company stays in business.

Starch is just the same. The second a dog walks by the ironing board the can of starch falls, hits the floor, and the top breaks off. Then all ironing ceases until I remember to buy a new can, which I don't need because I have a perfectly full can - it's just broken. I've been averaging about four shirts per can. It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

5. Maple was in lazy dog heaven today. Because of painting I had to move the dog beds out of the way. So I stacked them up, with her favorite on top. She curled up and took advantage in under 3 seconds flat.

I couldn't decide what she looked like more:

~A four tier ice cream cake? Vanilla on the bottom, chocolate in the middle and Maple on top.
     hahahahahhahaha.

~An ice cream sundae with a Maple on top?

~The Princess and the Pea?

~Maybe just a spoiled dog who is enjoying every second of dominating the all beds simultaneously.

Note: Please don't judge the amount of dog beds. These things happen when you combine two households.


Thanks for seeing the post through. I understand if you never want to come back.

Oh, Snap! Cold Snap.

Every Sunday morning The Canadian and I go out for breakfast with our good friend, Tyler. This morning was no different - except for one thing - the temperature.

When I stepped outside it was cold, but that isn't unusual. However, within seconds the strangest thing happened. All of the sudden I felt the inside of my nose get (this is going to sound gross, sorry) crusty. But not with crust, with ice. The inside of my nose was literally freezing and turning to little ice crystals. It made me want to run inside, blow my nose and go back to my warm bed. And never get out again.

This morning the temperature reached it's lowest point yet for this winter. Apparently, only when it is cold enough to cause nose crystals, is it 'officially cold'. Oooookay. I thought it was cold 15 degrees ago. I must have been mistaken.

When I checked the forecast tonight, I thought it looked cold, but actually not too bad...seriously, zero would be glorious right now. But then I realized I was looking at Fahrenheit.

Celsius is....what word am I looking for? Daunting. Intimidating. Scary. Have you ever seen numbers this low? Have you ever lived in numbers this low? Did I mention that with the wind chill tomorrow it is going to feel like -35C?

The temperature is going to keep dropping this week as the cold snap rolls in. I've been told that frozen nose crystals aren't a big deal - I need to watch out for frozen eyelids. Maybe it will get cold enough this week that my lids will actually stick together when I blink. I'm going to have to get a photo of that.

I didn't think you'd appreciate a photo of my nostrils. You're welcome.

Yellow Shovel Saves the Day.

All I wanted to do was run to the pet store really fast. It hadn't snowed too much so I figured the roads would be alright.

I made it half way down the driveway when I came upon a small obstacle. Nothing major, just your average mountain of ice.

Apparently the plow had gone by and I hadn't noticed. Did you know that plows keep their plow at an angle? That way the snow is continually pushed off to the side - right in line to block the driveway. Not usually a problem when The Canadian is home...but during the afternoon it only means one thing.

That I have to shovel. 

This isn't just snow. 

It's slush. 

It's ice. 

It's dirt. 

It's heavy.

This better count as my workout for the day.

Thirty minutes later, this is what I had accomplished. Not much. Where was The Canadian? Why does he have to go to work to make a living? I was starting to think that the dogs were going to have to go hungry, because I wasn't going to make it to the store.

But then a vision of yellow appeared! I could almost hear the angels singing.

Our trusty, teenage neighbor, James, brought out his heavy duty push-shovel to help me. And it's yellow - like a ray of Florida sunshine shining against the Canadian sludge. It's perfect for the really big chunks that are to big to stay on a regular shovel.

With Super Shoveling Neighbor, we managed to get the job done with out me resigning my Canadian residency. Seriously, what if I had been in a hurry? Late for a hair appointment? Or on my way somewhere really, really important? 

Look at all the snow I moved. My forearms are still shaking.