Hello, Martha?

That's right. The other day I was channeling Martha. I was on a muffin and cupcake rampage. It was impressive. Sometimes you just need to show Canada how its done.

I made muffins first. How's your French? Can you translate these flavors?

Luckily, for us Americans, they help you out on the reverse side. You never would have guessed double chocolate and blueberry.

Like how muffin mix comes in bags here? You can't get it in a box.

When the muffins were done I grabbed this fabulous basket. My mom made it, some 20 years ago. Back then she was a bit of a desperate house wife with two little girls, a traveling husband and alone in a new town. The baskets were her only friends. Though she doesn't weave them anymore they are still stashed all over our house.

I tossed a Vera Bradley napkin in the bottom. After all, what self-respecting southern girl doesn't have all things Vera? But get this, they don't have Vera in Canada. No one is impressed with my collection. I've even heard it called...gasp!...granny bags!

Let me make this clear; I didn't make all these muffins for my health. The Canadian had to bring them into work. I just want to impress these people and make them think I'm a domestic goddess. Do you think it's working?

When the muffins were out the door I got started on THE GIGANTIC CUPCAKE!!! (use echo voice)

Check out this pan. It's impressive.

It takes one and a half boxes of cake mix and an hour to cook. While it cooks I eat the extra batter. Then, it turns out lopsided and cracked. Awesome.

Hello, Martha? How exactly do I fix this little dilemna? Have another glass of wine and try not to worry? Okay. No problem.

My solution was to turn the ass-crack to the back. See, Dad? I told you all those years of Tennessee education would pay off.

Anyway, if you cover cake with bright blue frosting (no matter how poorly executed) and sprinkles then people just don't seem to mind the deformed back.

Plus, if you throw in some matching cupcakes they really don't care.