Goldfish.

Calm down, Hobie. Just calm right down. You're out of control.





And why are there legs growing out of your head? How many deformities do you have?





Oh, Maple. Why can't you just be normal?






Hello. Paging all genetic engineers. Genetic engineers please report to the front office. 

Is it possible to combine the personality of one dog with the physical traits of a different dog?

I'm thinking if we take Hobie's laid back demeanor and pair it with Maple's non-smelly, short haired body then I would have the perfect mutt. Hmmmm...

The down side to this plan is that I would also have a dog with shaggy hair, smelly everything, droopy eyes, drool and a bonehead personality that requires a helmet.

The other day I told The Canadian that I want to trade in the dogs and get a new one for Christmas. His response? I'm getting you a zebra.

I'm surrounded. Is it too much to ask to have at least one normal creature in my life?

If you need me, I'll be out buying a goldfish.

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Workout - nothing. i'm still sick. working out while hacking up a lung? rude.