Friday, December 16, 2011

The Case of the Mysterious Splinter.

Before you read this please note that 1) I am a clean person who showers everyday and does laundry weekly and 2) I vacuum my house every single day. Okay, onto the story.

Today I wore some cute little black and gray shoes with black socks. You know the kind of socks that are like tights? Those. It's Canada, give me a break. Socks are a necessity even if they are not always fashion forward.

Anyway, all day my right sock felt funny. Like it was pinching the bottom of my foot or some other weird sensation like that. I kept meaning to take off my shoe and readjust my sock but things got busy and my sock problem wasn't a priority.

I came home, took off my socks and shoes and didn't think a thing of it.

Later in the evening I put on my Uggs and headed out to the grocery store. Sans socks. It was a short trip but my right foot had that weird feeling again. It was like a tiny grain of sand had taken up residence on the bottom of my foot. Not exactly painful, but definitely uncomfortable.

After making my purchases I headed next door to the gym. Which, by the way, is super convenient and has become my nightly routine. At the gym I sat down on a bench and took off my Uggs. Determined to locate the source of my annoyance, I lifted my foot up across my lap to examine the bottom of my toe.

Expecting to find a small piece of glass or even a renegade cookie sprinkle I was shocked to find a splinter. Or what appeared to be a splinter. Like a splinter, it was half an inch long and deeply lodged under my skin. Carefully, I tried to remove the little bastard. But it bent! And twisted! It was soft and bendable. It was so smooth that it kept slipping from my fingers.

While preparing for round number three of Operation Splinter Removal I looked even closer and noticed that there was not one, but two mysterious splinters within an inch of each other. It was getting weirder by the second.

Frustrated, I went to the gym's front desk and asked Abby (we're on a first name basis) if she had a pair of tweezers in the first aid kit. As she handed over the tweezers I explained that two bizarre splinters were stuck in my foot. I sat down and showed Abby the mystery black spikes. She too was puzzled by my splinters.

With the tweezers help I painfully removed the first splinter. It was then that I realized the origin of the mystery blade. Maple. My splinter(s) was a dog hair. A short, black, surprisingly painful piece of my precious little angel. The little devil.

Now tell me, how on Earth did two short and smooth dog hairs come to be lodged in my skin? It's not like they're made of barbs. Or maybe they are. Maybe she has mutant fur. A genetic flaw perhaps.

Whatever the case, it was one of the weirdest things that has happened to me in a while.

Just thought you'd want to know.

Over and out.


Workout: Cardio - 45 minutes, Circuit - 60 jump ropes, 10 push-ups on ball, 25 crunches, 10 plank jacks, 10 tricep dips w/ feet on ball, 20 slooooow bicep curls, 20 cross-over step-ups - x3

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