Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Not How I Look. It's How I Feel.

On the up side, I didn't gain the 20 pounds over the summer that I feel like I have. On the down side, I did gain 8 pounds.

But here is the thing folks, its not really about the numbers. It isn't even really about how you look. It's about how you feel. Ya hear me on this one?

Summer is over. The whole three months went by without even an ounce of exercise or one iota of consideration for what I was eating. And I now feel like a mushy mashamllow. Again, its how I feel. Not how I look. Not what I weigh.

I hit a wall last week. None of my clothes were fitting and I hated the prospect of getting dressed and going anywhere. I wore the only pair of comfortable shorts I after day. It was getting embarrassing.

So, I decided to do something about it. It was high time that I get off my butt and get back to the gym. Every day after work I came home, took off my miserable work clothes and put on my gym clothes. Every day. Do you know how many times I actually went to the gym last week? None. I really thought the whole gym clothes thing would give me the motivation I needed. Turns out, it just gave me something comfortable to lounge in around the house.

As of this morning, my body was angry with me. My belly was constantly full, my muscles were achy, I was grumpy and I didn't have any energy to speak of. It was time to actually go to the gym. And why not? The gym is my sanctuary. It's where no one asks me questions, its where no one needs me for anything, its where I'm completely left to my own devices. It's heaven I tell you.

So off I went tonight. No more excuses. I prepped dinner before I left. I wrote down instructions for what temperature to bake the salmon and what time to start boiling the potatoes. I kissed TC on the cheek and got my ass in gear. It wasn't nearly as hard as I thought. Turns out, I'm quite capable of getting in the car and driving myself to the gym. Who knew?!

Within three minutes of being on the elliptical I already felt better. I could feel my muscles working. I could even feel a bit of sweat starting to bead on my brow. I cranked up my resistance and turned up my iPod. And I kept going. It was good to be back.

Is there a difference in how I look right now? Probably not. I mean, it's only been a whole four hours since my workout. Has my weight changed? Absolutely not. Let's be real, I had mashed potatoes for dinner. But how I feel? Infinitely better.

Imagine how I'll feel next week. And in another month? It's going to feel good.

And really, that is all I'm going for here - to feel good and be comfortable in my own skin.

Really, I don't think that is asking too much. I think we all deserve at least that.

So I say do something about it. If you don't love how to you feel about yourself, than make a change. Hit the streets and go for a walk. Go to the gym. Hell, just put your gym clothes on and act like you're going to do something. Eventually, you will.

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