Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I'm Passport-less.

Who doesn't have a passport? This girl!

Oh, and I also don't have a marriage certificate.

To recap, I am legally non-American and single at the moment. That is pretty much the exact opposite of my status when I awoke this morning. I have no proof of my husband or my nationality. 

Therefore, I plan on spending my entire day tomorrow flashing my diamond rings and greeting everyone with a twangy Hey Y'all! just to prevent the impending identity crisis.

I can hear the wheels turning in your head. I know what you're thinking. Who loses their passport and marriage certificate? Did Maple eat them? Did you get robbed?! OMG, did your house burn down?!

No. No. Don't be silly. If my house burned down I wouldn't be writing this right now because I would be locked up in a padded cell somewhere. My house is fire proof. Don't tell me otherwise.

Actually, somehow ten years have managed to pass by and my damn passport is expiring. I got my passport back in 2001 when I was set to embark on a backpacking trip across Australia. Those were the days...back when I was free as a bird. When I didn't have a care in the world. When I thought it was no big deal to drop out of school for a semester and take off across the world...ahhh...good times.

Anyway, I finally sent my passport off for renewal today. My marriage certificate went along for the ride because the government is picky about proving you deserve a name change. They did promise to mail it back to me...fingers crossed on that one. Thankfully, I have no immediate plans to cross the US border in the very near future but Christmas is just around the corner so I'm going to need Uncle Sam to get his arse in gear and send my new passport in time for the holidays. 

So in the meantime I would really appreciate if everyone would wear their seat belts, eat their Wheaties and not offer to take me on an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii. I won't be able to make it. 

I'm stuck here in Canada. Without a legal husband. Without a nationality.

I'm going to pour a glass of wine now and try to not have the aforementioned identity crisis.


The Month of Giving Thanks: Today I'm thankful for the postal service and broccoli. 


Workout - Cardio: 20 min. elliptical Class: Body Flow. 

1 comment:

  1. Ouch! That stinks! Hope you get it back in time for the holidays :)